Thursday, September 3, 2020

Is Abortion Murder? Not a Question to Be Taken Lightly

Despite having taught a bioethics course and debated abortion at length in the college classroom over ten years ago, I have come to my mature views on this question only recently. For what it is worth I'd like to weigh in. Emily and I have had many conversations on this and we have both reached an equally strong conviction. Too many lives are at stake to remain silent.

Since abortion was legalized in the U.S. there have been an average of 1.4 million abortions every year. So whether abortion is murder is a crucial question. I recently heard this analogy: say you wanted to demolish a building. Some people are telling you it's okay to blow it up because no one lives there. Other people are telling you that there are definitely people living in that building so it would be murder to blow it up. Who should you listen to? What is the safest course of action?

Given that people disagree over whether abortion is right or wrong, how is our situation different from the above? Might it not be better to play it safe?

Some will say: but shouldn't we allow each mother to decide based on their own moral convictions?

This leads to another analogy that I keep hearing, and it's a good one. In Nazi Germany some people thought it was okay to kill Jews and some thought it was wrong. Who was playing it safe, ethically speaking? Who was vindicated in the end? Who most needed to speak up? Does freedom of choice even come into play here? Do we want to say that those Germans who killed Jews were simply exercising their right to choose?

There was a time when I believed that abortion was permissible because the unborn child is not conscious yet. According to this view early-term abortions are especially unproblematic. According to this view, the idea that the unborn child has a soul seems like superstition. Without consciousness, it would seem that there isn't really a soul to be concerned about. And even if there is a soul preexisting the body, as some believe, then why couldn't that soul simply be born somewhere else?

This entire line of thinking is completely alienated, more and more people are coming to realize, from the sanctity of human life. The value of a life is not somehow proportional with how conscious it is. To believe this leads to the eugenic view that more intelligent people are more valuable. Unless we admit that all human life is equally sacred, then we detract from the value of every life, because all of us are very far from perfect intelligence. As to the view that unborn lives are interchangeable, so can be "born somewhere else", this is demonstrably false. At conception that child already has a unique sequence of DNA, never to be seen again in the history of the universe. Even twins, due to slightly different events as they grow and develop, will begin to diverge as soon as they start growing in the womb, and are never exactly the same, even just after they are conceived. So each unborn life is unique, and this uniqueness is inherently valuable, inherently real, and inherently sacred.

By the same token, the value of a life is not proportional to how well that baby will be taken care of after it is born. This again is basically eugenics, the argument that people whose quality of life is low should not be allowed to live, that it is better if they were never even born. But God loves all of us equally, and there can be no question of the sanctity of all life, whether living in poverty or not. You cannot justify killing an unborn child because it will have a "low quality of life" any more than the Nazis were justified in slaughtering the handicapped.

For these reasons, as I believe with many others, Roe v. Wade was a mistake. In fact, Jane Roe (whose real name is Norma McCorvey) who originally sued for the right to have an abortion in 1970, later in life became friends with the leader of an anti-abortion group, converted to Catholicism, and became an anti-abortion activist herself. The story of Abby Johnson, former Planned Parenthood director, was very similar, and if you haven’t heard about her yet, you might want to look her up.

The pro-life movement is growing. The number of abortions performed in 2019 was almost half of the number performed in 1990. Fortunately, more and more people are waking up to the rational, moral, and spiritual arguments against it. Since the beginning, abortion doctors and workers themselves have been turning against the practice. 

This article has more about the connections between eugenics and abortion, and offers some ways to get involved.

Monday, August 31, 2020

Eye-Opening Interview with a Google Whistleblower

If you click on this link, I bet it will be blocked, since Blogger is owned by Google [Nope! See correction below. This link is now repaired]:

https://thehighwire.com/videos/google-whistleblower-tells-all/

But if you copy the above text and paste it into a new tab, it should work.

An inspiring interview. "The only reason they are [censoring so aggressively now] is that they are losing and we are winning."

Watch and share with all! The truth is coming out.


CORRECTION:

My bad. There was a space at the beginning of the original link. I've fixed it now. Thank you to those who kindly pointed this out! I guess I couldn't help getting a bit paranoid there ;)

Friday, August 21, 2020

It's Time to Take Action

Dear Friends and Family,

Few of us, if any, have anything to complain about. Our lives are comfortable, our families safe. The quarantine slightly inconveniences us. But there are millions around the world whose lives have been lost, hundreds of millions whose lives are now in danger, billions in worsened poverty. Our ability as a nation to lead the world and serve as a light--this responsibility--is itself under attack and is very close to being lost completely.

Freedom of speech and freedom of religion are dying. War is being waged against our most fundamental rights. Unless each one of us does our part, starting now, this war will lost before most of us even knew it began.

I'm not trying to be dramatic. I'm not trying to get attention for myself. I'm issuing a grave warning. And I'm asking for help in this peaceful, desperate struggle.

We all need to pray earnestly for the soul of our nation, for the souls of our nation.

***

I've just watched the full Plandemic documentary, released just a few days ago, and it probably sums up what is going on politically better than anything else I've seen so far. Many other resources will be offered at the bottom of this post.

Please take a few minutes to watch the new Plandemic video. Mikovits and other whistleblowers have had their lives threatened and their careers ruined trying to get their message out. It could potentially cost these companies hundreds of billions of dollars if it does, so we shouldn't be surprised they're being silenced. Here are a few links, in case any of them do not work:

www.childrenshealthdefense.org  (this site has links to the video and is committed to getting this information out - it a has lot of good resources)

***

For what it's worth, here's my own one page summary of what you might call the Constitutional Crisis of 2020.

What is happening now, the corruption and greed and sheer power of our leaders, leading us into tyranny and totalitarianism, is nothing new. It is emphatically not a conspiracy theory. It is just what happens when the faith and traditions of a nation erode. "Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely," as Lord Acton said in 1887. It's the entire story of the fall of the Roman Empire, if you care to read it. Wealth inequalities between the richest and poorest are at their greatest now than in all of history.

Let's start with the vaccine industry. Developing a modern vaccine is no simple thing. You've got to find some way to grow the virus, and have it strong enough to confer immunity, yet keep it weak so that the human immune system can easily destroy it. It's a balancing act, and it involves "training" the virus, breeding it for your purpose. This is usually done with either animal tissue or aborted fetal tissue or some combination, and has been done this way for about a century.

The safety of a vaccine, like the safety of any drug, can only really be known by studying its effects on humans. It is inevitable that some people will be harmed in the development of new drugs. Moreover, no drug is perfect. They all have side effects and you obviously have to weigh the benefits against the risks. 

Let me say that again. You obviously have to weigh the benefits against the risks. 

This is not being done with vaccines. It hasn't been done since at least the eighties. In 1986 they passed "The National Vaccine Injury Act," which removes all responsibility for damages done by vaccines from the company making it and put in on the taxpayer. It set up a special "vaccine court" which has been very good at keeping the number of cases and their severity under wraps, quietly paying damages to whoever has been brave enough to sue.

The medical industry in our country is about a third of the economy. This is not normal, historically speaking. Just over 100 years ago, agriculture alone was 90% of the economy. Things have changed fast--our population is aging and hospital costs are rising across the board. "Big Pharma," that is, those corporate giants who produce our medicines and vaccines and medical equipment, are some of the most powerful lobbyists in our country, if not the most powerful lobbyists. And their money and power is tied up with that of Big Tech, Bill Gates with his "Bill and Melinda Foundation," and Google now making a large portion of its profits from medical technology. 

The CDC and the WHO, it has been long known, are merely puppets of Big Pharma. 

In 1976 the government spent $135 million producing and promoting a vaccination against the swine flu. The campaign was led by the CDC and tens of millions received the vaccine. Within a few months $1.3 billion dollars in claims for adverse effects including paralysis and death had been filed. The vaccine caused far more harm than did the epidemic. How have we forgotten this in just a couple of generations?

Scientific studies and personal stories proving that vaccines cause autism were easily found online until around 2000 when Big Tech quietly began censoring them. This censorship goes on until today. Google, Facebook, Youtube, and Twitter are surprisingly open about this. They admit that they censor "misinformation" and "pseudoscience," especially surrounding the coronavirus. They even censor our own president. We saw their political censorship in action during the 2016 election.

This is not a conspiracy theory. It's just powerful people being greedy for control over public opinion.

This ongoing censorship is an abuse of power. Until it ends each of us has a duty to defend free speech by fighting it. How do you fight it? Simply by sharing important, banned information. Get off social media. Use word of mouth. Texts and emails are better than "feeds" which tend to push down controversial posts. If someone shares something good with you, turn around and share it with someone else. I now get most of my best news this way, via my personal network. Give money, time, and whatever resources you can to help organizations getting this information out.

The quarantines were put in place because the public and our leaders were duped by the coronavirus scare, spread via mainstream media and internet propaganda. The deaths from coronavirus are inflated by about 90% due to overcounting. Doctors get paid more for deaths reported as being due to covid. Overall death rates from respiratory disease haven't risen much, if at all. Covid is less dangerous than pneumonia, not much worse than your average flu. Invasive treatments like forced ventilation are killing people. Quarantine of the elderly is killing them at higher rates. Quarantine in general has wiped out economies and is starving tens of millions of people in the third world as we speak. Meanwhile, profits for Big Pharma are sky high, Big Tech has more control over speech and thought than every before, and our Constitutional rights, including free assembly, have never been more trampled with less protest. They want to make yearly or quarterly vaccines for everyone mandatory. And we've let this new regime become indefinite. A few weeks have become a few months and now they're saying a few years.

This is important. People need to start paying attention.

Trust in America is at an all time low. The game is up. Unless we each of us take responsibility for educating ourselves, our family, friends, and neighbors, this will only get worse.

***

Suggested resources:




60 minutes episode on the swine flu vaccine:

Several scientific papers presenting evidence from old sewage samples that covid-19 was circulating a year ago, along with more studies showing that quarantine itself is causing more harm than the virus: 
https://www.ukcolumn.org/article/lockdown-deaths-not-covid-deaths

"According to the CDC, 131,332 Americans have died from pneumonia and 121,374 from COVID-19 as of July 11th, 2020. Had the CDC used its industry standard, Medical Examiners’ and Coroners’ Handbook on Death Registration and Fetal Death Reporting Revision 2003, as it has for all other causes of death for the last 17 years, the COVID-19 fatality count would be approximately 90.2% lower than it currently is." https://www.globalresearch.ca/covid-fatalities-wer-90-2-lower-how-would-you-feel-about-schools-reopening/5720264

More on the incentives that drove up the official count: https://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2020/08/20/hospital-incentives-drove-up-covid-19-deaths.aspx

A watchdog organization fighting to educate the public and defend our freedom of speech, with a great deal of "uncensored" news:

An organization devoted to defending freedom of religion in the U.S. and around the world:

On the incredible and growing power of wealthy corporations over government regulation:

An example of censorship, one in a horde:

Whistleblowers given a voice:

One page summary of the suppressed autism vaccine link. Please read it before you dismiss it.

Old news, half forgotten: doctors murdered for investigating autism and offering alternative remedies:

Alternate search engines:
https://gibiru.com [try the "uncensored" tab, especially with topics like vaccines and autism, covid-19, President Trump, or any other controversial topic. The way it works is the uncensored tab shows only results that never show up on Google.]

Alternate browsers:

Suggested movie, banned from Australia and aggressively censored. Let me know if you can't afford it and I'll buy you a copy:

NOTE: If you lack the money to purchase anything below let me know and I'll send you a copy free of charge.
Suggested books on the corruption of Big Pharma:
Plague, by Judy Mikovits
Plague of Corruption, by Judy Mikovits
Callous Disregard, by Andrew Wakefield
Vaccines 2.0, by Mark Blaxill
Evolution 2.0, by Perry Marshall

On the corruption of Big Tech:
The Master Switch, by Tim Wu
Life After Google, by George Gilder

On the corruption of the school system and its ties to corporate propaganda:
Dumbing us Down, by John Taylor Gatto
The Underground History of America, Volumes I and II, by John Taylor Gatto

A story of the Beast's unspoken activities in the third world, including crucifixion of Christians:
Long Life and Honey in the Heart, by Martin Prechtel

From The Life and Revelations of Anne Catherine Emmerich, Vol. II [red type mine]
[p. 120]
The Essence of Rationalism. 

"I was at the Nuptial House and I saw a large, boisterous wedding party arriving in coaches. The bride had around her a crowd of attendants. She was a tall, insolent, extravagantly dressed person, a crown on her head, jewels on her breast. Around her neck hung three tinsel chains and lockets with numberless trinkets shaped like crabs, toads, frogs, locusts, cornucopias, rings, whistles, etc. She was dressed in scarlet, and on her shoulders wriggled an owl whispering first into one ear, then into the other. It seemed her familiar spirit. The woman pompously entered the Nuptial House with her suite and baggage, driving out all whom she had found therein. The old gentlemen and the ecclesiastics had scarcely time to gather their books and papers together, for all had to depart. Some went with disgust, others betraying a little interest in the courtesan (1), They either betook themselves to the church, or scattered around in groups, sauntering here and there. The woman upset everything in the house, even the table with the goblets on it; only the Bridal Chamber and the apartment dedicated to the Mother of God remained undisturbed. Among her followers was that cunning hypocrite whom I had lately seen serving two masters; he was all-powerful with her. The learned boy was her son; he had now grown up and he boldly pushed himself in everywhere. One thing was very remarkable : the woman, her baggage, her books, all swarmed with shining worms, and she bore around her the fetid odor of those sparkling beetles that one recognizes by their smell. The women with her were mesmeric prophetesses who prophesied and supported her. It is well there are such people. They pursue their wickedness until they go too far, when they are discovered and the good are separated from the bad. After upsetting the whole house, 

(1) " Once I saw this woman's mother in the Nuptial House, preparing from a rank 
herb with yellow leaves a pottage for the learned who were to increase with the same 
rapidity as does the herb itself. They often came and ate heartily of it 1 ' 



Anne Catherine Emmerich. 121 

she went out into the garden and trampled it under foot; wherever she passed, the flowers faded and died, all turned to worms and infection. But this ignoble bride wanted to marry, and no one would suit her but a pious, intelligent young priest, one of the twelve, I think, whom I so often see doing great things under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. He was among those who had fled from the house on her entrance, but she enticed him back with the sweetest words. When he returned, she showed him everything and wanted to place him over all. He hesitated a little, when she threw off all reserve and used every imaginable artifice to induce him to marry her. The young priest became indignant, solemnly cursed her and her arts as those of an infamous courtesan, and quickly withdrew. Then I saw all her attendants trying to escape, swooning, dying, turning black. The whole house grew dark and swarmed with worms that ate into everything, and the woman herself sank worm-eaten to the ground, all dried up like tinder. I crushed some of the worms lying there dead and shining, and found that they, too, were all dried up, burned to ashes. When everything had fallen to dust and silence reigned around, the young priest returned with two others, one an old man who looked like a Roman legate. He carried a cross which he set up in front of the charred Nuptial House. After having drawn something from the cross, he entered the house and threw open the doors and windows, whilst his companions outside prayed, consecrated, and exorcised. Then a furious storm arose. The wind blew through the house, driving out before it a black vapor which floated toward a great city and hung over it in heavy clouds. The Nuptial House, thus purified, was again occupied by people selected from among the former occupants, and some of the retinue of the unchaste bride, who 



122 Life of 

were now converted, were installed in it. All began again to prosper, and the garden once more flourished.' 

The Body of the Church. — Labors of the Harvest. 

June, 1820. — I was in the church of the Nuptial House, where a ceremony was being performed, as if preparatory to the setting out of harvesters. I saw the Lord Jesus as a Shepherd, the Apostles and disciples with the saints and blessed in an upper choir, whilst in the nave of the church were crowds of priests and laymen still alive, many of whom I know. The ceremony seemed intended to invoke a blessing on the harvest,; to bring laborers to it. Jesus seemed to be inviting them in these words: 'The harvest is great, but the laborers are few; pray, therefore, the Lord of the harvest to send laborers into his harvest.' — Then He sent the Apostles and disciples forth with blessings and prayers, just as He had done whilst on earth. I, too, went out to the harvest with some of the priests and laics still alive. Some excused themselves and would not go, when immediately their places were filled by the saints and blessed spirits. Then I saw the harvest-field near the Nuptial House and in it a body rising up toward the sky. It was horribly mutilated, the hands and feet cut off, and large holes in many parts of it. Some of the wounds were fresh and bleeding, others covered with decayed flesh, and others were swollen and gristly. The whole of one side was black and worm-eaten. My guide explained to me that it represented the body of the Church, as also the body of all mankind. He showed me in what way each wound referred to some part of the world, and I saw at a glance far distant nations and individuals who had been cut from it. I felt the pain of the amputation of these members as acutely as if they had been cut from my own person. 



Anne Catherine Emmerich. 123 

'Should not one member sigh after another, suffer for another ? Should it not aim at being healed and again united to the body ? Should not one suffer for the welfare of another' said my guide. 'The nearest, the most painful amputations are those made from the breast around the heart.* — I thought, in my simplicity, that this must mean brothers and sisters, near relations, and Gertrude came to my mind. But then it was said to me : l Who are My brethren ? They who keep My Father's commandments are My brethren. Blood-relations are not the nearest to the heart. Christ's blood-relations arc they who were once of the same mind, Catholics who have fallen away from the faith. — Then I saw how quickly the side of the body was healed. The proud flesh in the wounds are heretics, and dissenters form the gangrened part. I saw every member, every wound, and its signification. The body reached to heaven; it was the Body of Christ. The sight made me forget my pains, and I began to work with all my strength to cut, to bind, and carry the sheaves to the Nuptial House. I saw the saints helping from on high and the twelve future Apostles taking part successively in the labor. I saw also some living laborers, but they were few and at great distances apart. I was almost worn out, my fingers ached from binding, and I was drenched with perspiration. I had just one sheaf more of good wheat, but the ears pricked me, I was quite overcome. Suddenly a polished fop with very insinuating manners stepped up to me saying that I must cease working, it was too much for me, and that, after all, it did not concern me. At first, I did not recognize him; but, when he began to make love and promise me a fine time, I discovered that it was the devil and I repulsed him indignantly. He instantly disappeared. I saw the harvest-field surrounded by an immense 



124 Life of Anne Catherine Emmerich.

vine, and the new Apostles working vigorously at it and calling upon others to do the same. They stood, at first, widely apart. When the harvest was over, the laborers all joined in celebrating a great feast of thanksgiving." 

...
[p. 289]:
7. From August to the close of October, 1820. 

Sister Emmerich's labors at this time were constantly directed to the welfare of the Church which, as usual, she beheld typified by St. Peter's, at Rome. The secret society, with its world-wide ramifications engaged in ceaseless war against the Bride of Christ, was shown her as the empire of Antichrist symbolized by the beast in the Apocalypse rising out of the sea and fomenting attacks upon the flock of Christ. In relating this vision, the Pilgrim makes the following remarks : u It is, indeed, full of breaks, for the invalid saw it under allegorical representations difficult for her to describe. What is most astonishing, is that it touch- 



290 Life of 

es upon many points of the Apocalypse of St. John, of which humanly speaking she must have been wholly ignorant, as she has very little knowledge of the Holy Scriptures or of any other book. If, at times, she seems to read, it is with a mind deeply absorbed in contemplation and she sees very different things from those discussed in the volume before her. The vision is, as follows: 'I see new martyrs, not of the present but of the future, though even now they are oppressed. I saw the secret society undermining the great church (St Peter's) and near them a horrible beast that arose out of the sea. It had a tail like a fish, claws like a lion, and numberless heads that lay like a crown around one large head ; its jaws were large and red, its body spotted like a tiger. It was very familiar with the demolishers, lying near them whilst they worked, and, again, concealing itself in a cave. Here and there throughout the whole world I saw many good, pious people, especially ecclesiastics, harassed, imprisoned, and oppressed, and I felt that at some future day, they would be martyred. When the church was well-nigh overturned, the choir and altar alone remaining untouched, 1 saw the demolishers thronging into it accompanied by the beast. But they encountered a tall, majestic female who seemed to be with child for she walked very slowly. The wretches were filled with affright on seeing her and the beast lay paralysed, furiously darting its head toward her, as if to devour her ; but she turned and fell prostrate on her face. Then I saw the beast fleeing to the sea, the enemy hurrying off in disorder, and immense circles of combatants surrounding the church, some on the earth, others high in the air. The first circle was composed of youths and maidens ; the second, of married persons of all classes from royalty down; the third, of religious; the fourth, of warriors, led by a rider on a white horse; and the 



Anne Catherine Emmerich. 291 

fifth and last was made up of citizens and peasants, many of whom were marked on the forehead with a red cross. As this army drew near, the captives and oppressed were delivered and swelled the ranks, whilst the demolishers and conspirators were put to flight on all sides. They were, without knowing how, gathered together into one confused mass in the midst of a dense fog; they knew neither what they did nor what they ought to do; and they ran pell-mell against one another, as I so often see them. Then I saw the church speedily rebuilt and more magnificent than before, for its defenders brought stones from all parts of the earth. When the most distant circles drew near, the nearest withdrew to make way for them. The former appeared to represent the various labors of prayer ; the latter, the soldiers, the deeds of war. I saw among these last friends and enemies of all nations, simply soldiers like our own and dressed like them. They did not form a perfect circle, but a crescent opening toward the north into an immense dark abyss like a chasm, a precipice, like a descent into darkness, like that to which Adam was driven from Paradise. I felt that a region of darkness lay beyond. I saw that some out of these circles remained behind. They would not advance, but stood gloomily huddled together. I saw some also who would one day be martyred for Jesus ; but there were many wicked people among them, and another separation was to take place. — The church was completely restored. Above it on a mountain, was the Lamb of God surrounded by a troop of virgins with palm-branches, and five circles of celestial cohorts corresponding to the five circles below. They all arrived together, and all acted in concert. Around the Lamb stood the four mysterious beasts of the Apocalypse." 

Monday, August 10, 2020

Stand

 After months now of wavering on what to say about what's happening and whether to say it, I finally decided today that I do have a duty to address the crisis in whatever slight capacity I have as a teacher, writer, and (very green) apologist, and to do so in a timely way. I wish I had spoken out sooner about my COVID-19 doubts. I feel too few people did at the very beginning. I even had friends request that I write something on it, flattering me with the idea that I would have some comfort to offer people. I did try to, though not publicly. Not that my blog has any huge impact on public discourse, but I do feel like some cowardice played a part in my reticence to speak out, a fear of being wrong.

So I've decided to speak out now. There is a great deal to say. So much that I'm afraid that this will get too long to finish, as my previous attempts at writing a post, over the last several months, have ended up. In each case as my musings became endless ramblings--whether on free speech and government corruption and whatever political philosophy seemed most relevant--my doubts piled up over whether I had a clear solution or fruitful idea to express, and my fears over whether I was crossing any lines into conspiracy theory or dangerous political incorrectness. As the news and crises piled on and on, higher and higher, I struggled just to know what I thought about it all. Are we seeing a revolution? A civil war? A totalitarian coup? Or is this all just hot air, a media scramble for ratings and the fevered hysteria of a bored, quarantined public? I wavered between endorsing outright civil disobedience and advocating that we just relax, obey, and ignore the hype so it would go away.

No doubt something real is happening, even if it is "just" psychological. (Psychological storms, especially in an information economy like ours, are probably the worst kind.) And the one thing I couldn't deny was that the stories being given in the media just didn't cohere, that the media is incredibly biased (big surprise), and that people are getting more afraid to speak out and contradict it. 

I hold no judgment or grudge against those who find it safer to remain silent. Too much noise, too much radicalism, and not enough thought, is itself a danger. Yet when precious few simply call things as they see them, those few become that much more helpful. So I hope this can be a service to you, that I am willing to be straight and honest about what I think. I ask you not to judge me, to cut me off for this if you disagree. I ask you to engage in cool-headed rational dialogue. There's too much to talk over and too few (really) talking.

I don't feel that I have any reason to fear for my safety in speaking out. The main reason is that I am nobody. At best a post on this blog gets a couple hundred reads, but usually it takes a couple of years to get that high and I am sure most of those are bots. My only really faithful readers are family and friends and maybe a dozen or so internet fans. If the twitter mobs went after half the people twice as famous as me they'd never get done.

And how can I expect to make any difference with what I write when so few will see it? This question itself forgets the exponential power of word of mouth. If I only reached two people with an idea, and those two people reached two people, and so on, then that idea now has life and can spread as it needs to. This is why some of you have received a video or article by text or email from me. You've been one of the handful I've decided to share it with because I thought you'd appreciate it and forward it on. Thus harnessing the power of word-of-mouth networks, I've managed to largely bypass using search engines to find insightful news. Because what you get on Google is so culled and biased and well-funded that it's practically useless to understanding what is really going on. But more on this later.

Establishing all this in my mind, I then asked myself the obvious question of what exactly I had to say. And as I thought I'd learned in my decade of secondary education, what to say is often a distinct question from how you will say it. Professors never responded well when I simply wrote what I thought. They always needed something that followed the format; people needed to be gradually led to whatever insight you had to share. 

Ah, how many years it's taken for me to get over this indoctrination. I've had to untrain myself, unschool myself merely to express the simplest thought in a clear way. Here we have the essence of political correctness. Force your opponents to couch their terms. Make them feel they have to. And then in their verbose circumlocutions what they have to say will be lost. And so the politically correct will always win an argument, because only they are allowed to be simple, direct, and clear.

But I did not realize this quite yet, as I sat planning out this essay. All I knew was that I wanted to come across not as some radical alt-right thinker or conspiracy theorist, but as one who was simply stating what he believed, and being honest about his degree of confidence. (I am pretty sure of some things, not so sure about others.) But this too was a ridiculous thought I now see -- and so the circumlocutions build.

So let's just say it. I need--we all need--to be honest about our values and convictions.


I. On the Current Civil Unrest

Here are my views on this civil unrest. I agree that black lives matter. Also that police lives matter. Senior lives matter. Unborn lives matter. In fact, all lives matter. But the organization "Black Lives Matter," is reprehensible in its Marxist goals. On its own website it says (https://blacklivesmatter.com/what-we-believe/):

"We disrupt the Western-prescribed nuclear family ..."

"[W]e gather ... with the intention of freeing ourselves from the tight grip of heteronormative thinking ..."

"We cultivate an intergenerational and communal network free from ageism. We believe that all people, regardless of age, show up with the capacity to lead and learn."

What do any of these goals have to do with black lives mattering? I and every conservative, on the contrary, seek to defend the nuclear family, to teach our children traditional gender roles, and to respect our elders as wiser and generally more capable of leading. If you're familiar with Marxism you'll recognize everything in the "What We Believe" webpage for Black Lives Matter as Marxist. 

https://nypost.com/2020/06/25/blm-co-founder-describes-herself-as-trained-marxist/:

Cullors, 36, was the protégé of Eric Mann, former agitator of the Weather Underground domestic terror organization, and spent years absorbing the Marxist-Leninist ideology that shaped her worldview, Breitbart News reported.

“The first thing, I think, is that we actually do have an ideological frame. Myself and Alicia in particular are trained organizers,” she said, referring to BLM co-founder Alicia Garza.

“We are trained Marxists. We are super-versed on, sort of, ideological theories. And I think that what we really tried to do is build a movement that could be utilized by many, many black folk,” Cullors added in the interview with Jared Ball of The Real News Network.

Is it any surprise that the increasing influence of BLM has led to more and more violent protests? This is what they are trained in.

https://www.city-journal.org/black-lives-matter

“Defund the police” is the new rallying cry of the “woke,” and BLM is the leader of this dangerous push. Defunding police would make the neighborhoods that activists profess to care about less safe.

...

Donating to charities that uplift and empower black Americans is the best way to make a difference. Mentorship programs, food banks, public-health facilities, black-owned businesses, violence-prevention programs, educational initiatives—if you want to make a difference in the black community, you have many good choices. Black Lives Matter is not one of them.

Antifa too, if you are willing to do any research on it, is funded by overseas organizations and actually originates in Europe. They are trained in violence, despite propaganda to the contrary. At the start of this most protesters on both sides were peaceful. But as things have developed the violent tactics of trained agitators have gradually led to more and more violence in our cities.

Defunding the police is not only unjustified, it is a dangerous course of action. This only gives more power to these mobs, who rule by fear. 

Homicides have been increasing during the past few months of unrest:

https://www.dailywire.com/news/portland-disbanded-police-gun-violence-unit-on-july-1-finished-month-with-most-homicides-in-30-years

https://www.wsj.com/articles/homicide-spike-cities-chicago-newyork-detroit-us-crime-police-lockdown-coronavirus-protests-11596395181?mod=hp_lead_pos7

Police have been attacked by protesters as homicides rise:

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/fox-s-varney-mob-rule-shutdown-will-set-back-american-cities-for-years-and-years/ar-BB16S5AZ

Police have even been targeted at their homes:

https://pjmedia.com/news-and-politics/tyler-o-neil/2020/08/03/seattle-police-chief-urges-city-to-oppose-mob-rule-after-rioters-target-her-house-n743908

Radicals are using death threats to keep people silent about what is really going on. We're in Gestapo territory now.

https://www.dailywire.com/news/seattle-police-chief-slams-city-council-after-activists-target-her-home-you-must-forcefully-call-for-the-end-of-these-tactics?%3Futm_source=twitter

Durkan’s rhetoric about the activists changed when they showed up to her home, which she responded to by going after far-left Seattle City Council member Kshama Sawant, who reportedly led the protest to Durkan’s home.

“Mayor Durkan and her family are in the state program to keep their address confidential because of the death threats mostly related to her work as Seattle’s U.S. Attorney under President Obama,” Durkan’s office initially said in a statement.

...

In Councilmember Sawant’s case the media has uncovered documents suggesting that she may have effectively delegated decisions regarding hiring and termination of City employees to an outside political organization. According to the documents, the National Executive Committee and the Seattle Executive Committee of the Socialist Alternative party had authority over staffing decisions for the City Council office. At least one employee was allegedly fired as the result of a decision of the Executive Committee of this political organization, and that employee protested that the firing was the result of political retaliation."

Do some research. What I've cited here is only the tip of the iceberg of what I personally have found.

Police stations across the country have been burned to the ground. Police have been dragged from their homes and shot, both black and white. All because of a single instance of police brutality that may not have been racially motivated

Whether this is the power-grab from the radical left that it appears to be, I can't say. But I definitely understand why many people see it that way. Is it any wonder that there are more and more counter-protesters from the right? Is it any wonder that more conservatives are themselves radicalizing, arming themselves even, and preparing for confrontation? And isn't it obvious that as more radicalism appears on each side, each side can be led to react that much more strongly? The kind of polarization seen today isn't much different, demographically, than what you saw leading up to the Civil War. I don't say this to frighten anyone or increase anyone's panic. What we need to do more than anything now is to stop, calm down, and think.

The left wants to paint the extreme right as a bunch of white supremacists and fascists. But if anything this is less true than it was back in 2016 when Trump was elected and this rhetoric was at its height. As more conservatives join the counter-agitators, the ranks of the far right are getting diluted with people who just want business as usual, and gaining hordes of intellectuals that see through all the leftist propaganda. 

The right wants to paint the extreme left as a bunch of terrorists. But I would guess that this is also becoming less true. Most protesters of course are just mainstream Democrats who want justice for blacks and want to clean up what they see as rampant social injustice. These of course provide excellent cover for the more violent elements behind the scenes. Along with a left-leaning mainstream media the worst of the "protesters" goes unnoticed except by those they are hoping to terrify.

The strategy of exploiting a threat from the opposing side of the political spectrum -- the way the Nazis did the Communist threat in Germany -- is obviously a growing part of both right-wing and left-wing propaganda in this country today.

But I want to promote cool-headedness, and I think anyone who does this even in a small way is being part of the solution. Yes, there are indeed radicals on both the left and the right who are looking for ways to create and exploit more and more crisis. But whoever these people are they are in the minority. Jordan Peterson has even pointed out that the twitter "mobs" that terrify whole universities into witchhunts against professors are often comprised of just a couple of hotheads. The thing the rest of us need to do is start talking sense. And as much of it as possible. Make noise, lots of it, but I mean quiet noise. A shushing noise, and let it die down so the rational discussion can start. If someone says, "You know it's strange that the majority of people who die of covid are over 75," instead of accusing them of hating the elderly, maybe it would make for a more productive conversation if you said, "What exactly is strange, in your view, about that?" and let them say what they mean to say, which is more likely about how the covid numbers are super cooked. Give people the benefit of the doubt. (But never the mass media, more on this below.)


II. On Media and Censorship

We've known for a long time that the media is biased and full of propaganda. We know that it is controlled by wealthy interests. This is even more obvious than in the case of government agencies. Media didn't have to be corrupted to become beholden to mega-corporations--it is mega-corporations and has been from the beginning. 

We've all learned from a young age that advertisements exist to sell you something. They want your money. And advertisements pay for media in most cases. Where we have to pay for media out of our own pockets, as with movies, then we are basically paying to watch something advertise itself, and all the toys, games, and sequels that will come of out it, all owned by the same Rich Guy somewhere in Hollywood or New York. This is why it's not a great idea to let the TV raise your children. Better go find some classic, time-tested books written by unusually wise people. That's how you get educated in wisdom. The media only educates you to buy. It's an education in materialism.

Now when the media, such as Fox News or Facebook or Google, promotes something political, you've got a very special kind of advertisement called propaganda. I'm sure you already know this, but it pays be clear in our definitions. And often it seems to me that people these days act as if they didn't know this. Covid-19 is a great example. A little common sense and a healthy dose of conspiracy theory makes sense of it way better than what you get on the news. 

The media is heavily biased. It pays to read news from across the spectrum. It also pays to avoid news altogether. You won't die without news. I've gone years without it myself, getting my important news word of mouth. This is the way news traveled for thousands of years and it suffices for most purposes. And it's generally ad-free. But what I like to do when I feel the need to catch up is read news from the far left (maybe NYTimes or the New Yorker), the left (CNN, Atlantic Monthly, Washington Post), the center-right (Fox), the right (e.g. DailyWire, Breitbart, PJMedia), and occasionally the far right (InfoWars). I know I'm making myself sound like a news junky here but that is absolutely not what I'm advocating. I spend maybe 30 minutes browsing the headlines of a few online news sources twice a week if things are happening but usually twice a month. Usually CNN and Fox and one or two others. More than this and I can tell that it ruins my mood and wastes my time. I don't subscribe to anything. The rest of what I read I get from suggestions from friends and family and other articles. If I find something I think is being neglected or suppressed by search engines and social media, I share it with family and friends via text, email, or my blog.

I am not a very political person. For those who want to be more involved, Oliver and Rachel DeMille, parents of eight, bestselling authors, and influential speakers who have written several great books on educating yourself and you children using the classics, have some great advice:

Since the natural consequence of studying the classics is to look around at the current world and wonder what is really happening, we are often asked about the best source for current events. The truth may surprise you. First of all, most people get their news from the electronic media ... They know very little about what is really happening, but either do not care or very strongly share their opinions when asked. They have no influence on what happens, and no idea why it is happening ...

The second group of people is a little more studied. They either listen to the same newscast or radio program each day (thereby following events in more detail), or they read a daily newspaper or weekly magazine. They are less strongly opinionated, consider themselves basically objective, and know a little bit more than the first group. In short, they know little to nothing about what is really going on either, and have no influence on what actually happens--except perhaps locally.

Finally, a relatively small group of people are part of the Great Debate. They are continually pursuing a classical education, and when they go to the library they take time to read the latest articles from scholarly journals like Foreign Affairs, Foreign Policy, The Congressional Digest, Vital Speeches of the Day, etc. They may or may not also read the newspaper or listen to a daily television or radio program ... When Leadership Education parents go to the library, they set the example by reading classics and scholarly journals. At first they struggle to even understand the journals, but they keep doing it just like they kept reading Shakespeare. Eventually they understand what is going on in the world--really--not just surface skimming, but deep understanding. This education process is a natural precursor to becoming someone who influences world events. (The Phases of Learning, p. 127)

For a first-hand account of how such habits of self-study can lead to an influential public career, I suggest Condoleezza Rice's excellent autobiography, Extraordinary, Ordinary People.

The stereotype of a homeschooler as a backwoods hick isolated from the outside world couldn't be further from the truth. I have friends in the homeschooling community here that are deeply engaged in local politics, such as city council members, state politics, lobbying at the state legislature, and even international politics, being involved in the United Nations and speaking internationally. Homeschoolers publish books and are successful entrepreneurs and businesspeople, and they give their children the tools to do the same. And though I personally am among the less political, I am deeply interested in the Great Conversation that has taken place over the centuries, and I believe that studying classics gives you the foundation you need to see through much of the day-to-day propaganda of the news and entertainment media. The DeMilles write:

As a good mentor, you need to be personally active in the Great Debate. Mortimer Adler, compiler of The Great Books series, called it the Great Conversation and others have called it a Great Discussion. It is the current state of the debate that has been going on now for as long as we have written records. Most people do not even know about the the Great Debate, but it is perhaps the most influential thing going on in the world at any given time. It is not found in textbooks ... The Great Debate is found in the classics, and the purpose of Scholar Phase [a phase of wide reading for parents or teenagers] is to become fully conversant in the language of the Great Debate.

The DeMilles hit the nail on the head when it comes to characterizing the current woes of our country:

For the last three decades, our society has been setting the stage for economic, cultural and political decline. At the center of this stage are the schoolrooms ... E.D. Hirsch's Cultural Literacy and Allan Bloom's The Closing of the American Mind both warned in 1987 that our modern educational format could not deliver on its promises to the future. Both suggested that only a return to great education, rooted in a deep understanding of history and the classics, would allow us to prevent decline and build that future of promise. Twenty years later, their warnings are still applicable.

History shows repeatedly that the strength, wisdom, and foresight of one generation creates peace and prosperity for the three generations that follow. ... The structures which come crumbling down ... are rooted in widespread poor education and high levels of expert training for "the few"--the lethal historical combination of ignorance and arrogance.

I've quoted at length because this is precisely what we're seeing. The coronavirus fiasco is a result of arrogant experts stringing along an ignorant and docile majority. Our bending over backwards to satisfy the cancel culture of twitter mobs is due to the same fearful ignorance.

It is horrific the amount of control Google, Facebook, Wikipedia, Twitter, and Youtube have over what political and scientific views get expressed and disseminated. Again, I only have time for a couple of examples.

When Judy Mikovits came out with her provocative interview, Plandemic, criticizing Fauci's handling of the epidemic, and giving a voice to silenced doctors across the country, Google, Facebook, and YouTube openly censored it, Mikovits is a whistleblower who has been brutally and unjustly suppressed for years. She was part of research in 1980 that led to the first immune therapy for cancer, was awarded graduate student of the year in 1991 for helping develop HIV/AIDS treatments that saved millions of lives, had a career that spanned decades, was often appointed chief scientist, and published dozens of articles each cited dozens of times. She was first labelled a "pseudo-scientist" when she co-authored a paper that suggested a link between a certain vaccines and auto-immune disorders. 

An "activist" recently went ahead and hacked Mikovits's website for good measure.

Searching for anything scandalous about members of the Democratic Party will give vastly different results whether you search using Google or Duckduckgo vs. Qwant or Swisscows for instance. The bias is painfully obvious. Search for Democratic Joe Scarborough, whose scandal began when Michael Moore began questioning the public narrative years ago and see for yourself:

Qwant.com top results for "Joe Scarborough" a few months back:

  • Joe Scarborough - Wikipedia
  • twitter.com/joenbc
  • Joe Scarborough Art - Paintings, Art, Prints and Merchandise
  • BREAKING: Video Surfaces of Joe Scarborough Joking About Having Affair With Intern and Having to Kill Her (thegatewaypundit.com)
Google.com top results for "Joe Scarborough" at the same point in time:

    • Joe Scarborough - Wikipedia
    • twitter.com/joenbc
    • Donald Trump's disgusting attacks on Joe Scarborough (CNN.com)
    • Attacks on Joe Scarborough Draw Criticism from Trump's Usual Allies (NYTimes.com)

    Apparently big tech is complicit with the Chinese government in censorship. https://video.foxnews.com/v/6159646892001#sp=show-clips

    At the same time, Europe is censoring about 1/3 of American news. https://www.express.co.uk/news/world/1002665/GDPR-2018-general-data-protection-regulation-act-block-us-newspaper-chicago-tribune-websit

    Twitter has even suppressed tweets from the president. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-44248448

    Election fraud is being suppressed. https://www.oregonlive.com/news/2020/05/twitter-suspends-account-of-oregon-group-that-claims-voters-party-affiliations-were-changed-without-consent.html?utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=oregonian_sf

    Protests are allowed but for some reason there is violent opposition to churches opening up. https://www.foxnews.com/faith-values/mississippi-church-fire-investigated-arson

    While BLM riots continue virtually unchecked, they've even gone so far as to ban singing in churches in California. https://www.foxnews.com/us/california-singing-ban-church-coronavirus-restriction

    Amazon is censoring books critical of COVID-19 propaganda. I know this first hand because they cancelled my order of Mikovits's Plague of Corruption for an unstated reason. I eventually bought my copy on Barnes and Noble. The book is incredibly eye-opening to what is going on. 

    Every conservative I know is furious at how the tech giants are censoring social media and search engines. These companies need to own up to their duties as common carriers and practice non-bias. News is always going to be biased. But social media has no excuse for it, and search engines need to stop employing political bias. Trump's ongoing battle against this censorship is one of many recent actions that has determined me to vote for him in the upcoming election. He signed at least two executive orders in this vein that I urge you to read:

    Trump's executive order preventing online censorship. 

    Trump's executive order defending freedom of religion. 

    Churches have been burning around the world and religious views and speech suppressed. Not everyone realizes this, but it's another good reason to seek out alternative news sources and search engines.

    One way I've found of getting around the censorship is to use alternative internet browsers. Brave browser is my favorite, but also good is Iridium and Pale Moon. These are "privacy" browsers, protecting you from ads and sharing information with websites. You can also use an adblocker. I use uBlock Origin. Using Brave with Ublock has sped up my internet browsing speed considerably.

    As for alternate search engines, I get around Google's censorship by using SwissCows.com or Qwant.com. They are not perfect but they are a lot better. Avoid DuckDuckGo--I have noticed as or more biased results than Google.

    What is the solution to all this? Our president can only do so much. I advocate a Christ-like solution. We need to practice good faith. Our protests should be peaceful. We should love our enemies by--first and foremost--listening to them and being honest with them. 

    Many are afraid of speaking out. Several people tell me that freedom of speech is dead. But it will never die if we resolve to peacefully witness to the truth. The day we stop sharing our viewpoint out of fear, that is the day that freedom of speech dies. We absolutely must stand up. And we absolutely must be peaceful and loving. Speaking out is a moral imperative. The more people see through the propaganda, the less power it has. Something as simple as not wearing a mask--not out of defiance, but because you believe the evidence shows it does more harm that good--is a statement to others that they are not alone in their doubts. As more and more people stand up, all the nonsense will evaporate and we can laugh it off.

    Whether our fate is totalitarianism and the death of the republic, or a continued tradition of free speech and tolerance--this is up to every one of us. Each one of us is a foot soldier in this peaceful war for the soul of America. Do not give in to hate. Do not judge your neighbor because they are conservative or go to church, wear a mask or don't wear a mask, do not even judge them for being Marxist. Rather, talk to them and see what they think and why. Share your own views. I guarantee that even most Marxists just want a better America. But we will not get there by violence, we will not get there by censorship, we will not get their by shouting people down, by ridiculing them for not kneeling, by calling them racists, bigots, or homophobes.


    III. Education as the Solution

    Education is what is needed most of all. And of the most important kind: self-education. Reading the best books. We each need to study other ideologies and become conversant in them before we criticize them. Look at who funds what organizations. Look at where they came from. Study the history of ideas. Study parallels in Soviet Russia, in Nazi Germany, in Victorian England, in Revolutionary France, in 18th-century Spain, in ancient Rome, Athens, Sparta. Get some kind of perspective, build yourself a foundation, before you go around trying to tear everything down. 

    The rain fell, the torrents raged, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because its foundation was on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not act on them is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain fell, the torrents raged, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell--and great was its collapse! --Matthew 7:26

    Philosophizing only ever leads to truth or goodness or wisdom by God's help, otherwise it builds its great systems on the sand. My own philosophy, as I built it up in my teenage and college years, eventually itself came crashing down, a motly and crooked tower cobbled together from bits of physics and mathematics and evolutionary theory and poetry. The edifices built by 20th-century philosophy--positivism, pragmatism, postmodernism, Marxism, evolutionism, existentialism--are themselves coming to a pivotal point, teetering on the edge of collapse as their weak foundations are less and less able to bear the weight of the manifold systems we burden them with. We would do well to search in faith through the science and philosophy and theology pre-1900, which held up so much longer and so much more fruitfully. We still live on, still squander the wealth of ideas and truths discovered and developed before modern times. But unless we return to those fresh and original fountains of truth, via the scriptures, and to a lesser extent via the classics, our culture will continue to decay, as the pagan culture of the Romans--however high and nobly was built--decayed long ago.

    We think we are making progress. But we are not sure. We struggle and argue and scheme to make this civilization of ours into what we feel it could be. But as our schemes and plans become more vehement and attentive, they come to encompass--everything. Ultimately, we're trying to control every aspect of the world, down to minutely detected bias in each and every mind. We are too quick to condemn, too quick to regulate. Our bureaucracy bloats, our laws and regulations multiply without end, until it is next to impossible to simply do your own taxes, let alone start a business, let alone settle down to a simple life of farming and study.

    For these reasons, progress leads to totalitarianism. To progress you must find solutions to every little problem (environment, disease, population, inborn racist bias, etc.). Finally, nothing is sacred as you end up banning singing in churches because it might spread a disease about as deadly as pneumonia but with a much better PR campaign behind it; you force everyone to kneel and disrespect the flag that stands for our freedom because that freedom is not perfectly shared with certain minorities; you make it impossible to farm traditionally by calling it "organic" and withholding the subsidies given to industrial methods to counteract the too-high taxes they'd otherwise pay; you demean the procreative act and endlessly sensualize it in the media with the excuse that when not done for pure pleasure it adds too many people to our "population" as if we were each a number and not a sacred being; ... and so on.

    The more problems this all causes, the more grist for the progressive mill, and the more control progressive ideology seizes over our lives. It's the same way any cult works. Turn to your leader. Government solutions to government created problems. Everything in the news is too big for any one person to solve. So to feel the least bit important we join The Movement. 

    But I think at this point most of us are just scared of The Movement. We pay it lip service, we bow to its demands out of fear. But it only looks like a mob. Most of my liberal friends are telling me they're sick of liberals. It's really the work of a few clever propagandists. Notice how each side always likes to say that their candidate is ahead in the polls. You gain popularity by claiming to be popular. The Movement is an emperor with no clothes. See this, and be free.

    Professors are losing their careers, journalists are being threatened. Their courage should be commended. And the best way to support them is to follow their example. Stand up. If you don't feel important, that should at least make you feel brave, because cancel culture only goes after what it fears. If you're small, you're safe. And if you do have a public face to protect, protect it by standing up. 

    The "controversial" medical researcher and whistleblower Andrew Wakefield writes, "[A] whistleblower is much safer once he has gone public in the public interest. ... [I]nformation is dangerous only as long as you are the only one who knows it."

    A great ancestor of ours once said, "Give me liberty, or give me death." Another said, "I regret I only have one life to give for my country." Would that our courage were once again so noble.

    "The rain fell, the torrents raged, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because its foundation was on the rock."

    I believe that our foundation is more than strong enough to weather this storm.

    Theists know that every soul is sacred and loved by God. This knowledge is antithetical to everything about population control. It is antithetical to isolating and neglecting the sick. It is antithetical to hiding our faces and going along with lies. It is antithetical to everything about government solutions. It is antithetical to everything about stifling individuals' free speech, or forcing them to kneel before our flag, or any worldly flag. As divine beings we each of us have the right to stand before any worldly power--even kings.

    Christ taught us to start each of us with our own heart. "Remove the beam from thine own eye, so that you can see to remove the speck from your brother's." 

    Love your enemy. Educate yourself, so you can set an example for them. 

    You want to make a difference? Get involved. Watch what organizations you give your money too. Direct service is always more sure and more satisfying.

    Our culture may lack fulfillment, but sources of fulfillment in service to our fellow man are all around us. We live in a civilized time and place where life is relatively easy. Peasant life, centuries ago, was hard. Paradoxically, it was also more fulfilling. Why? It was humbler and closer to God. It was based on service. "Blessed are the meek." And that was 99% of existence before modern times. 

    As important as turning off the media is education. Educating our children is a holy commandment:

    And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world for the causes of sin. These stumbling blocks must come, but woe to the man through whom they come! --Matthew 18:5-7

    It is for this reason than so many homeschoolers remove their children from public school. Or at least educate them in the Gospel so they can withstand public school, and later college.  The most successful homeschoolers know that as parents they must educate themselves first of all. This means tuning out propaganda and advertisement and tuning into the Great Conversation that has spanned dozens of centuries. The classics uplift us, give us a foundation, while the news and entertainment industries try to dumb us down, demoralize us, and lead us into sin and decay.

    When the advertising industry first started booming in the early 20th century, cultural critics like G.K. Chesterton warned in strong terms of the dangers of letting the superficial arts of "hypnosis," rhetoric, and emotional appeal creep into more and more of our attention and time. We are now reaping what we have sown, as disrespect for everything logical, philosophical, and spiritual becomes rampant. 

    Descent into totalitarianism and descent into ignorance are really one and the same. Under a totalitarian state, all "truth" is controlled by the propagandists. But this is only possible if emotional appeal can trump logic. Because it requires that (a) you have no firm system of value or morals, or (b) you have no ability or patience to work out the logical consequences of that system. Either way, you have been demoralized, you are ignorant. Either way, you have sacrificed the soundness of your own mind.

    The antidote to ignorance is simple: knowledge. To reverse this trend, it is enough to read our scriptures; still better than this, delve also into the Classics. It was doing this that healed me of the "psychosis" that I had been saddled with by psychiatrists. It's a simple cure, and advocated by more and more psychiatrists themselves, particularly those in the movement of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. This movement itself, in a nutshell, is nothing but the idea that reading the Classics (especially in philosophy) is psychologically healing. And there is mounting scientific evidence to back this up. (See the last chapters of The Coddling of the American Mind.)

    You may be surprised to learn that the fundamental philosophy of the most successful homeschoolers is exactly this: read! If you don't believe me, read Charlotte Mason's Philosophy of Education (considered a foundational classic of modern homeschooling, though written by a public school teacher), Oliver DeMille's A Thomas Jefferson Education, Susan Bauer's The Well-Trained Mind, or any other of numerous excellent books being written on the subject. The reading group I attend locally is comprised of all homeschoolers who educate their children this way, and these children go on to great schools and to do great things.

    Autodidacts throughout history have educated themselves simply by reading books. Ignorance equals slavishness. Dictators rule by it. The more classics we toss by the wayside and forget, the farther down the road to ideological slavery we march. Your scriptures, whatever they are, will teach you how to serve God. Propaganda, wherever it comes from, will teach you how to serve Mammon--that is, Money.

    One famous Marxist essay I read denounced the "materialism" of the middle class newspapers. His suggestion? Read Marxist or Labor newspapers instead! But how is this not more of the same? It's putting too much stock in newspapers, of whatever stripe, that took us down this path to materialism in the first place. Because what do Labor newspapers ultimately demand? A redistribution not of knowledge but of money. But what is more powerful about knowledge is that by giving you knowledge, my own knowledge also increases. It might be worth contemplating the meaning of Jesus's miracle of feeding the 5000 in this context.


    Conclusion

    Let's return to the events that have unfolded in 2020, this unusual and disquieting year. The more people I talk to, the more people tell me that something just doesn't smell right about all of this. For the first time in our history, the government is forcing people to hide their faces behind masks, and socially isolate themselves. All this on the pretext of a relatively mild "pandemic," not much worse than a bad flu season. This enough is food for thought. But then you have a single police killing, brutal but not unprecedented, which sparks protests worse than anything we've seen for half a century, in which the most violent protesters are members of Antifa, who normally wear masks and thus hide their identities still more effectively than before. While such protesters gather, a minority burning and looting, workplaces and churches are forced to remain empty, and all social interactions are forced online, where explicit censorship by the biggest tech corporations reigns. In the meantime the major news stories on the right and on the left are so different that it is often a shock to go from one to the other--as if someone were trying to turn us violently against each other.

    How does any of this not smell strange? How blind can the public be?

    How does that proverb go? "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything"?

    A great elaboration on this principle: Ravi Zecharias on "Why I am not an Atheist".

    As I first began outlining the ideas behind this blog post, I kept coming back to the question: By how will I express it? I kept thinking back to my posts that received the most positive responses. They generally told a very personal story. Of course, in the end, none of this is about being "well-responded to." This is about standing up for something that might be unpopular. It's about speaking the truth. 

    What I finally decided was that if I were to go back through my insights and repackage them in some "politically correct" way, I would be conceding the whole game. This is how too many rational voices are being silenced now. They are forced to pretend to say what they are not saying -- but then why speak at all? Do not let your firmest convictions be forced below the surface. Let your light shine. Don't kneel before what you don't believe in. Stand.


    Epilogue: On Marxism

    If you think that Marxism is a harmless ideology that's just been misused by a couple of misguided dictators, you need to actually read what the Communist Manifesto says.

    The Manifesto is short, but if you don't even have 30 minutes here's a 5 minute summary of what people absolutely need to realize:

    Marx was a totalitarian. He believed that all previous traditions and cultural forms, including the family and religion, needed to be swept away in the dictatorship of the proletariat. He predicted that once a communist revolution succeeded in doing this, the government itself would then dissolve of its own accord. This prediction has proven disastrously wrong. No country that has undergone a Marxist revolution has succeeded in producing true equality and freedom, but only a more totalitarian government. The USSR slaughtered more innocents for their revolution than the Nazis, even more than all the pre-20th century wars combined. 

    Modern Marxists claim they can learn from all these "mistakes." (I would call them atrocities.) But the Communist Manifesto itself, written in 1848, has an entire chapter on how it was different from all previous Socialist doctrines. History has proven this arrogance false. I am against Marxism entirely. I have absolutely no tolerance for it. Read the Communist Manifesto to see for yourself what it advocates.

    (1) Communism sees all "law, morality, and religion" as "bourgeois prejudices," or "modes of appropriation" that must be abolished.

    (2) The Manifesto says that "The abolition of bourgeois individuality, bourgeois independence, and bourgeois freedom is undoubtedly aimed at."

    (3) The Manifesto admits to wanting to abolish the family: "Abolition of the family! Even the most radical flare up at this infamous proposal of the Communists. ... The bourgeois family will vanish as a matter of course when its complement vanishes, and both will vanish with the vanishing of capital."

    (4) Communism also does not deny being against home education. "But, you say, we destroy the most hallowed of relations, when we replace home education by social. And your education! Is not that also social, and determined by the social conditions under which you educate, by the intervention direct or indirect, of society, by means of schools, &c.?"

    (5) The Manifesto also states that it is for the "community of women" or the abolition of marriage.

    (6) The Manifesto advocates the abolition of nation and culture.

    (7) The Manifesto states that all traditional ideologies, philosophies, and religions must and will be overthrown. It is completely totalitarian, as practical a form of nihilism as you could imagine.

    Marxism is militantly atheistic. Christians have been horribly persecuted in all communist states. You even see this starting to happen now in the U.S., with protesters burning down churches across the nation, with church singing being banned, Christian clubs being banned on campuses, churches being closed while protests continue, and the Bible being labeled racist.

    Anyone who supports BLM or any other Marxist/Communist organization is against everything I stand for. There are many better ways to support the poor and underprivileged. More direct service tends to be a surer way of doing real good.

    You say you believe in the morality taught by Jesus, but you also say you support BLM. Who's side are you on? I suggest reading the Communist Manifesto and comparing it to the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John before you make your decision.

    I pray that this country will come to its senses soon.

    https://youtu.be/DeYRK16PIlA

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1EA2ohrt5Q

    Friday, July 31, 2020

    Why Quarantine is Harmful

    Here's a summary of what you can tell people about why we need to forget this coronavirus scare, end all quarantine and social distancing measures, and move on. Specifics on these points can be found in many good resources across the internet. I link to a good 50-page discussion of these studies in my previous post "End the Scare." I also link to a few other videos and resources at the bottom.


    A Summary


    (1) Scientists have been unable to prove that covid-19 tests are effective or even that it's a real disease. When people take several tests, the tests will switch from positive to negative and back again, whether they have symptoms or not. 


    (2) There are powerful corporations who control the media and the World Health Organization and stand to make enormous profits from cures and vaccines for covid, and who benefit as small businesses go out of business from quarantine. That could explain why there is so much hype when covid hasn't caused more deaths than a bad flu season.


    (3) Most people that die from covid are already elderly, most over 75. On average they have 3 pre-existing health conditions.


    (4) Hospitals are required to mark deaths as covid if they might have covid and die from something else. So even the official numbers are way off.


    (5) The risk to children from covid is minimal. A child with covid has less than 1 in a 1000 chance of dying. Even according to CDC numbers, about three times as many children ages 9-14 have died from flu and pneumonia as from covid since the outbreak, seven times as many have been murdered, fourteen times as many have died from suicide, and 34 times more have died from accidental injury.


    (6) In an average month before this year, around 20,000 people die from respiratory illnesses in the U.S. It's claimed that covid is doubling these numbers but doubled mortality is not unusual for a bad flu season. 


    (7) Total mortality rate from all causes has increased by maybe 5% so far. This modest increase may be due to the lockdowns (which have caused economic distress, hunger, and suicide) and overtreatment (especially with forced ventilation) and not from the virus itself. 


    (8) Quarantined nursing homes have actually seen higher fatalities than nursing homes that have not been quarantined. This appears to be due to loneliness, neglect, and depression among elderly people who are locked away from their families.


    (9) One third of all common colds are coronaviruses. All of the symptoms of covid-19 are possible symptoms of a cold. (Compare: common cold vs. covid-19. Even loss of taste and smell is very common in colds, flus, and other mild sickness.) How is covid not considered a mild illness like the cold or flu, especially if the average person who dies with it is elderly and has 3 pre-existing conditions, and young people are far more likely to die from pneumonia? No one has been able to explain this to me. 


    For an eloquent and at times humorous summary see this video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhYX8RzyMC4


    If you think this guy is some kind of lone crank, here's a another couple of doctors who were censored for some reason.

    https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x7tp2s3?syndication=273844

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-TJS7DLz8c


    If you don't think it's possible that overtreatment is causing excess deaths, watch this banned video from nyc (warning - this is emotionally intense):

    https://banned.video/watch?id=5ee13c3cc7a607002f0c8187


    For some convincing analysis showing that quarantines are harmful:

    https://medium.com/@JohnPospichal/questions-for-lockdown-apologists-32a9bbf2e247 


    Every doctor and nurse I've personally asked about covid has said the whole quarantine thing is ridiculous. It is unprecedented for a sickness so mild. They are wearing their masks when patients come in to make them feel better but otherwise don't bother. 


    If you want to see how absurdly low the mortality numbers are when put in perspective (and these are from the CDC), see this brief article: https://www.acsh.org/news/2020/06/23/coronavirus-covid-deaths-us-age-race-14863


    If you want citations to dozens of scientific studies, see the article linked to in my previous post "End the Scare." https://theinfectiousmyth.com/book/CoronavirusPanic.pdf


    Keep fighting the good fight and spreading the word. The mainstream media and search engines are relentlessly censoring. This alone is malicious, regardless of the truth. Science progresses by active debate. None of the people being censored are bringing up unreasonable questions or points. It would be more effective to merely answer their legitimate questions and move on. The fact that they are being suppressed shows that there is something to hide.

    Saturday, July 18, 2020

    End the Scare

    This article is written by a scientist outside the mainstream and gives the best overview of all the major evidence against coronavirus being a true pandemic that I've found. It's excellently cited, with about 100 citations, mostly from scientific journals, and well-argued. And disturbing in its implications.

    Well worth the read for ammunition against all the misinformation out there. 

    I've made it my policy not to wear a mask or practice social distancing unless it's explicitly required or requested. 

    The tragedy of this scare is overwhelming. The ongoing costs to human life, sanity, constitutional rights, and social bonds are huge. The widespread emotional neglect of the elderly is reprehensible. It's important to stay vigilant in spreading the truth. Good science is being done, but ignored. It's our responsibility to make it known, because the mass media is taking virtually none.

    https://theinfectiousmyth.com/book/CoronavirusPanic.pdf

    Monday, February 17, 2020

    From the Heart: The Story of My Journey from Atheism to Christianity

    Here's a response my brother sent after my post last week:

    ~~~
    I just read your post, and it sounds like you're really passionate about the intelligent design debate. I'm excited for you, but honestly, that debate doesn't spark anything for me.

    There were a few points where I went "Nooo! He's missing the point!" and a couple others where I thought, "Woah, that's powerful and interesting," but I'm okay with not knowing the answer to the question, "Why are we here?"

    I'm more interested in things that are personal. I want to hear the emotional basis of an argument--otherwise I'm not sure why I should care. What have these thoughts meant for your everyday life recently? How have your discoveries uncovered beauty and joy?

    But what I'm really interested in is your story!! You've never told me, nor shared a written story with me about your journey from atheism to Christianity. It seems like you might be ashamed of it, which I can understand because [we both had an ex-Christian upbringing and you think] I want to judge you for it. I just want to know you better.

    So, I'm very excited that you're putting your story in your next book, and I hope to be able to read it before it's released! Good luck with your writing, and don't be afraid of showing a little emotion in it--you're not a philosopher anymore, you don't have to abide by their rules!
    ~~~

    I've received several reactions to my post, most positive. This one, though also very positive, was one of the more critical ones, and I took three important things away from it. First, it confirms for me that the personal part of what I want to say, the part that comes from the heart, that tells the emotional details of my journey, is indispensable. My last post, I realize, neglected this, and did much more to introduce my intellectual philosophy than my personal story. Second, it brought out a misconception that I should have expected, a perception that my reticence to share is based on shame. In fact I am not at all ashamed of my story! I'm eager to share it; it is just difficult to explain. Finally, it emphasizes the importance of talking about how my faith has transformed my day-to-day life. Much of this is private, for reasons of modesty, but not all of it has to be, and it's important for non-theists to understand how much joy a relationship with God can bring.

    My response is below. A few too-personal parts were removed for this public version, but it is still very personal.

    ~~~

    The story of how I went from atheism to Christianity is not a short one. It extends from my experience as a senior in college, to my realizations just over a year ago, with several stages along the way. I'm interested to know what parts of the story you most want to understand. I'm definitely not ashamed of it. If anything the source of my reticence has been my struggle with pride, as I'll try to describe.

    I'm writing this out of a desire to communicate these things to you, especially on an emotional level, as you asked about. It will help me, I'm thinking, if I can try to give an overview of the story, and then you can ask for elaboration on the parts that you find most puzzling or interesting. I know this is sort of a long email, but it'll be shorter than sending you even just the personal chapters of my book, which have grown to about 100 pages, and will probably be close to 200 by the time I've finished this draft.

    When I was a senior in college (2004), I had my first mystical experience, a vision of God, what I should call my "epiphany." In certain ways it was the most powerful of my experiences. Before that I was basically agnostic, though I called myself atheist because I leaned that way. Since that experience I have known that a personal God exists, with only very brief periods of doubt.

    It's hard to summarize my epiphany, especially in terms of emotions. But I'll try.

    Prior to it, I was all over the place, mood-wise. The initial euphoria of going to Caltech had worn off, especially as I had realized that the quest to unify General Relativity and Quantum Mechanisms (also known as the search for the Theory of Everything) was not something they were really preparing me for, nor was I the best equipped to undertake it (there were much better physicists around), nor was it what I really wanted out of life. So I think my predominant mood, from 2001-2003, was one of mild depression. In short, my pride had been crushed. I stuck with physics because it was the most "prestigious," I was good enough at it, and it still seemed the most philosophical of sciences.

    It was also depressing because I didn't have much of a love life. The gender ratio was 2:1 and there just weren't many dating opportunities.

    What little free time I had I spent largely either drinking with friends or in the library. [...]

    I started to get into poetry, philosophy, literature, and "complexity science." Complexity science is the attempt to take mathematical methods from physics and use them to understand complex systems like human society, evolution, or ecosystems. Chaos theory has been a notable success in this direction. Famous scientists like Stuart Kauffman and Stephen Wolfram were claiming that they were on track to discovering a unified "Theory of Complexity," a kind of physics you could apply to any system. Most scientists thought (and still think) they are a bit crazy, but I thought it was fascinating what they had achieved, and I even took a few classes on it offered by a couple of the more daring professors on campus.

    I know maybe this all sounds cerebral and impersonal, but I guess to be honest I take theories and abstractions very personally. This was even more true back then. And in truth I somehow stumbled on a very heady combination of ideas and friends that started leading down a wildly mystical path. In 2003 I started getting high with some of my friends while talking about deep things. This started the whole experience snowballing, and my ceaseless contemplations eventually led to swinging moods, racing thoughts, and what the doctors called a "manic episode."

    Though, to begin with, it wasn't really a manic episode, because it was very isolated. Before and since then I've only had a few experiences anything like it, and that's not at all how a truly manic psychosis is supposed to work.

    It was a mentally and spiritually chaotic time for me, prior to the epiphany. It was definitely a breakdown. I would not recommend the path of mysticism I took in those years to anyone else. As I see it, it was God who rescued me from total annihilation. It was only when the love of God shone through and brought peace and reverence -- that is, holy fear -- back into my soul that I began to rebuild my mind from its shattered pieces. So if somebody wants to claim that my vision of God was a kind of pipe-dream, merely the product of a fevered imagination, I must firmly disagree. Sure, I had many fevered visions in those days, but that this vision of Eternity rescued my mind from total chaos was a miracle of the most profound sort that I will always be grateful for. I don't think anything short of God could have accomplished the turn-around I experienced.

    If you want to know more details about that experience, let me know. In the book I'm working on I have several more pages on this, and I'm happy to elaborate as much as you want. It was a personal experience, sure, and very "triggering" for years, but at this point in my life I've faced down the demons I encountered back then, and I don't mind talking about it, not in the least. But for now I guess I'll move on so I can finish my overview.

    The next phase of my life, as I said, was theistic, but I kept delving into Nietzscheanism and I guess I still toyed with a kind of materialistic relativism. My mental and spiritual life, though less chaotic than before, was quite a mess. I was on medication, went to counseling, and as you know developed certain personal relationships that I'm not proud of.

    Not that a lot of other grad students in philosophy weren't pretty much in the same boat. Modern philosophy is very different from ancient philosophy; now they tout it as a form of tradition-destruction, and as I see it now, this kind of wanton spiritual demolition leads nowhere fruitful. But I guess I'm digressing.

    I was pretty much back to being mildly depressed most of the time, 2004-2009. It's hard to be diagnosed with bipolar disorder, doctors telling you you have a 30% chance of careening into a permanent mania of racing thoughts and some mixed state of black mania that almost always ends in suicide. Anxiety and fear was a part of my day-to-day for years. I figured I would be on anti-psychotic medication the rest of my life, and that this was better than the alternative.

    And these were no "happy pills" I was taking either. High doses of Seroquel, despite what they tell you, never get easier to take. What happens after you take your pill--always at night--is that you start feeling a pressure on your chest, and then your sinuses and your windpipe start to contract (at least that what it feels like) and it starts seeming like you've got cotton balls stuffed in the front of your brain. Your thoughts stop cohering and become a muddle of sharp impressions that last for a second, then are absorbed back into the cottonballs. I'm struggling to describe it but the point is it's horrible. You keep hoping that your leaden, dreamless sleep will begin so you can wake up in the morning and think again. The inability to string together reasons will sometimes lead to severe anxiety attacks, heart pounding like it is going to explode, and for those there was no cure but to get out of bed and pace. Around midnight or later, the medication would mercifully wear off enough so that I could read Aristotle to help bore me back to sleep, and actually have some dreams. Generally I would sleep 9.5 hours a night, any less and I would be too groggy to function. The hangovers from Seroquel were unremittingly bad, but having a nightmare while on it was probably the most terrifying part.

    My doctors kept telling me to increase the dosage, but I kept trying to titrate it down. But after trapping down I would have a round of flashback nightmares that they claimed would act as "triggers" and I would have to increase the dosage again. I hated this cycle but I held on to at least a sliver of hope that my case would prove different and I would eventually get off meds and be cured of my psychosis. Technically, psychoses are supposed to be incurable. This would lead to the second major miracle of my life, in 2009, when I discovered the power of prayer and got off my medication.

    Most importantly, between 2004 and 2009, the root of my spiritual sickness remained, with almost as much strength as before. As a physicist I had wanted to find the Theory of Everything, and then the Theory of Complexity. As a philosopher I wanted to be the next Great Philosopher. My pride and arrogance were largely untouched--they had just found new targets. What I find amazing is that while everyone around me, and most books and articles I read, and even my favorite philosopher--Nietzsche--only encouraged this aim of being The Wisest, God was subtly growing a more humble part of myself, a part that really just wanted to know the truth. Darwinism wanted me to put a theory out there that would spread, to create ideas that would be "fit" and replicate themselves super well. But then, somehow, a humbler part of myself knew that even on Darwinian assumptions, only a sincere love of truth, of finding the truth and expressing the truth, would lead to anything that lasted. And I came to realize too, as I read the ancient philosophers whose ideas had survived so long, that the most eternal ideas didn't belong to the men who wrote them down at all, but were really just a part of Eternity. If eternal ideas belonged to anyone at all, it was God.

    It impressed me that the ancients realized this, that in fact ancient philosophy (what had survived) was most interested in virtue and what it means to live a moral, good, and just life. This is what Socrates spent all his time thinking about -- the man that to this day is still considered the greatest philosopher! The man who said he only knew that he did not know. And what is also fascinating reading the ancient Greek philosophers is that they often spoke of God and striving to join Him after death. This from sages in a culture that believed in many gods and had no real notion of heaven. But Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, and other great polytheistic philosophers came to these eternal ideas through pure reason.

    It gave me hope and comfort to find this. Modern philosophy, it seemed to me, was mostly pointless technicalities. I've talked about this on my blog and I elaborate in the current draft of my book. But you know what I mean. Academia is largely dry, overly specialized, and too career-oriented. It rarely gets back to the real ancient questions of virtue, not even in philosophy departments.

    It was during this time that I conceived of the argument I give in Progress Debunked. Seeing that philosophy hadn't progressed since ancient times, and had in fact regressed in some ways, and that science was doing little to address what really matters in life, I came to question the whole modern idea that more modern is better. This is important for my story because all of the connected ideas I started to have-- the value of family, the value of tradition, the value of morality-- all of these "more conservative" ideas I would find elaborated on and explained in detail in the Bible. Rejecting modern "liberal" ideas, going back to tradition, I found myself primed to hear what the Bible was trying to say, what religion is really--at least in its better moments--all about.

    By 2009, I had read the Bible all the way through, as well as other religious texts like the Bhagavad Gita and parts of the Qur’an. I know there's this picture in modern society of what these books say, that they're judgmental and threatening and full of hellfire. But I found out that if you read them with an open mind you will find a great deal of comfort and courage in them. The Bible isn't one long argument for why you should go to church. [...] What it does have is a commandment to rest on Sundays. I love that commandment. It's brought me, like I said, comfort and not fear. In fact I found that as I started to follow the Ten Commandments more closely in my life, that my freedom actually increased by leaps and bounds. Like the rules of logic, the laws of God actually open doors.

    Late 2009 was one of my more transformative periods. I knew I needed tradition in my life, and I knew I needed religion of some kind. My skepticism of modernism had extended to psychology itself, and I wanted to get out of the whole mental health system, which had started to seem more like a prison. So, as I said, as I started to try to live by the word of God, suddenly doors opened up. My nightmares started going away, replaced by revelatory dreams that helped me understand my relationship to God better. (I talk about these on my blog, and in my new book to an extent.) I started praying, my dosages went way down, eventually to zero, and I even had my bipolar diagnosis reversed by a professional. (So officially, I never was bipolar to begin with.) Soon after this I met Emily. My desire for a family seemed to really excite her and this has led to the wonderful life I enjoy now.

    I realize that none of this should have been possible. It was a miracle. All it took was that "mustard seed" of faith I had in God, as Jesus talked about. And since that time, even though for years I prayed without really knowing whether God literally answered prayers, or if it was just good for you "psychologically," my faith has slowly grown. Meeting Emily was a miracle too. We both believe this. We'd both dated random people for years and met no one even close to the right one. Life is too complex, the human experience is full of too much chaos, for there not to be a Divine hand helping it along. I have been blessed in my life, and I am very grateful for it, in fact I don't think I deserve it at all. It was purely God's grace, as Paul speaks about in his letters. It was out of my darkest times that God lifted me. It was not by any power that I possess. And if anything I write now makes people wiser or touches them, I know it is not by my own power that such wisdom reaches them. I know that I am only an instrument. If I had been left to my own devices I would have become some Nietzschean monster, logically demanding everyone to bow to my superior reason, leading them all to nowhere in particular. Now I realize that the only worthy goal, the only worthwhile guide, is the infinite goodness, love, and mercy of God.

    I know I've skipped ahead a bit here. Again, 2009 was another key moment in my journey. The next period was my "philosophical Christian" years, from 2010 to late 2018. During this time I believed in a personal God, and I believed in aspiring to the kind of virtue taught in the Bible, but paradoxically I was not convinced that things like miracles could happen. You would think that my experiences would have been enough, but they were not. I was still so steeped in rational skepticism that I could not bring myself to believe that, for example, Moses had really parted the Red Sea. How I finally have come to believe this, I have been trying to explain in my most recent posts. But I guess you are right that I keep getting into abstractions and philosophizing and I've largely missed the personal part.

    I guess the difference with this most recent realization is that the personal part came afterwards, after I had my abstract realization that miracles happen. In fact, it is still developing. [Note: Emily has asked me to share the following part on my blog.] Emily is still more skeptical than I am. Her skepticism doesn't stem from "science" but more from her negative experiences in organized religion, which she feels makes unrealistic demands of perfection.

    We agree quite a lot about the problems with organized religion. I've tried going to a few Christian churches but I've never found anything that felt right for my needs or my family's. But I have started to more earnestly teach our children the Christian tradition and read one chapter of the Bible a day with them, and discuss it. Teaching my family this way has been a very rewarding experience. We do not force the Spirit, but let it descend on us when It wills, sometimes discussing eternal topics, sometimes being moved to sing hymns.

    Jesus said that when you pray you should not pray in public but in your room with the door closed. So that's what I do. He said that when you give to charity to do it in secret so that your right hand doesn't know what your left hand is doing. So that is what I do. All the sins he accused the Pharisees of, I see done by modern religious leaders. So I do not follow them. He said "Judge not, lest you be judged." So I do not judge any way of worshiping the Creator, nor withhold Christian fellowship based on denomination, but recognize all believers as equal in Christ.

    Yet he also said, "Nor are you to be called 'teacher,' for you have one Teacher, the Christ." Part of what makes it so hard to express myself is that I don't want to set myself up as a teacher. Yet I also feel that if I don't try to share what wisdom I've been given, I am not following Christ's commandment to make use of my "talent." (Matthew 25:14-30; 1 Corinthians 12:27-31)

    It is a fine line I walk, and I've recently realized that it is too fine to walk by my own light. So I am constantly praying that I can be guided to do God's will as he wills it without being prideful. This is part of the reason so many of the blog posts I've written have never made it to the web recently. I keep realizing that many of them are nothing more than an exercise in arrogance.

    I've been reading a lot of the early history of Christianity recently. It gives me comfort because Roman times were much like modern times. The early Christians were pacifists and completely nonjudgmental, very Christlike in every way. It inspires me to see how they quietly protested against decadence and sin by simply not participating. When they were killed it was usually because they refused to sacrifice to the Roman gods. I find it incredibly inspiring that someone could be that brave. Many Roman soldiers were converted just upon seeing their courage in facing death.

    In fact it was pondering this history in late 2018 that I first started believing in miracles. It wasn't any one account that convinced me. It was the full weight of the historical revolution. How could a sect devoted to peace, kindness, and self-sacrifice, willing and ready for martyrdom, preaching sexual abstinence and meek humility, appealing more to slaves than to rulers, AND believing in miracles, God, and the afterlife, ever have managed to grow as fast as it did? On Darwinian principles it's impossible. I calculated that if Christianity was no fitter than the alternatives, the probability of it growing so fast was far less than 1 in a googol. This realization left me physically shaken. All the hypotheses that our reality is a "computer simulation" rushed back into my head, making me realize that it was far more plausible that our reality was designed to evolve beings who believe in God, that answered prayers might really be part of the program.

    Emotionally, the realization was euphoric. "Gospel" is really Old English for "good news." I realized that it was not only possible that Jesus came to bring the message of eternal life after this simulation was over, but highly probable, given all the facts.

    It has been hard not to let this realization go to my head. I realize that everyone is on a different journey, that God's plan is different for each person, that each of us are special in a unique way, and that even our worst and most sinful mistakes, from an eternal perspective, are ways for us to learn. Jesus blesses those who are humble, because it is those who are humble who do not give in to the subtle selfishness of pride, which I think is rightly called the father of all sins. This is what I've been mostly struggling with. I need to share the good news, but I can't be setting up myself as a teacher. Only Jesus can teach.

    On a day to day level, my newfound faith has brought indescribable joy, in almost every way. I know it's cliche but every sunset and sunrise is more beautiful now, everything in nature, and even man-made things show the hand of God. For example I recently started reading Tocqueville's Democracy in America, and when he said he believed only Providence could explain the appearance of Democracy in the modern world and all its freedom, I knew exactly what he meant. I see how even the worst experiences are ultimately for the best. I see God now in everything, especially in other people--my children, my wife, my friends, and everyone I meet, in every conversation I have. None of this is burdensome, but incredibly liberating. It inspires everything I do, from trying to be a better employee, to being a better writer, to being a better father and friend.

    [...]

    ~~~

    I’ve been working on an expanded version of this story in my book, which as I said will be about half about my journey, and half philosophy, in alternating chapters. It will stretch back to my childhood, and extend to the present as well. Several people have asked me for this story, both family and friends, and I look forward to finally writing it down in its entirety.